He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
She was blacklisted from the Uhaul center...what the fuck do you have to do to get blacklisted from a Uhaul center
An attempt at squeezing a tomato to make a bloody mary just says desperation all over it....
found glitter on my cock. thank you for bringing me to that dance recital.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to concentrate on legal issues with the ghost of his giant penis in me?
I think we should bring back the casual nipple tassel
No, trust me. Falling down the stairs is a fucking sobering experience.
Thanks for not locking your door. I had to pee and there was a random person throwing up in my bathroom so I used yours. \nPS I stole your soap
I keep jumping up and down in front of the mirror naked. The only motivation I would be to stop and put clothes on is if you come over. Hurry.
that's the first time I've heard "shenanigans" and "apocalypse" in the same sentence
strip teases shouldnt end with an expensive car covered in salsa and mayonnaise yet here we are
Maybe you can just make seal noises during sex and we can call it good
There it is. Caramel-coated dick. Someone is getting a yeast infection later.
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
Randomize
