Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
well..after leaving the bar you handed me your wallet and said you didnt need it cause you were going to find the cash cab and added 'i'll see you on tv'
if she mentions anything about chili and my phone, just go with it
she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
Now one day I will be able to tell my children how a drag queen in a gay bar told mommy that bin laden was dead
at that time a 4 pound meatball stuffed with pizza rolls seemed more important than bailing you out of jail.... sorry.
Who was the girl that woke me up at 4am to tell me "there's an emergency, we need you to come smoke weed"
I came in and I guess my parents didn't hear me. My dad just said "Don't be lazy, RIDE IT." to my mom. Never coming home again.
We just left the shoe. An app card to Fridays. $25 to santoras and a note that said sorry we were drunk on the front doorstep of the strip club
i'm face down in a ditch right now please help this is not a metaphor for my life this is real.
If Anthony Weiner can get in trouble for sexting 2 or 3 girls I dunno how politicians will make it in 10 years.
Lol I would vote for a guy that is trying to be a senator that has a viral video of him motorboating a topless chick
You don't know how small your school is until you know everyone in the ER on a Friday night.
I was dreaming of a parallel reality and in the dream I just looked up at my present self and was like "you're high, man"
Dude no i feel my liver disintegrating
Randomize
