I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?
the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
i dont know you, but i just did a line with your business card.
Hooking up with him would mean my type has officially become... drug dealer.
We made out for three hours. Then she said she didn't sleep with redheads and left the party. So yes, I'm still drinking.
I used puppy pads next to the couch for her to throw up on....
Please come and kill me with a brick you dont even have to be nice about it just smash myfucking skull in this is the worst hangover ive had for at least a week
Also, my aunt grabbed my phone and downloaded the scriptures. Apparently I need Jesus.
Gross! What the hell is that?!?
It's quite clearly a man posing erotically with multiple packages of bacon.
I think if you have sex on the couch it will psychologically damage it.
I didn't have time to wash my hair yesterday. Ended up spraying some Febreeze on it.
tinder day one and i already had more guys message me about "the girl with the big tits in my second picture" than about me. MY 17 YEAR OLD SISTER CAN GET LAID WITHOUT EVEN HAVING TO MAKING A PROFILE
to be fair she does have a great rack
They were so sore! Either I have bed bugs or you were biting my nipples last night and don't lie to me.
Hey.... can you explain to me why when I woke up this morning my cell phone background had been changed to me getting a piggy back ride from a drag queen?
Ok, as his sister I didn't tell you this but he's very familiar with pregnancy symptoms. So next time he calls you fat freak him the hell out by asking if your ankles look swollen.
Randomize