i just had 3 doubles lined up on top of a urinal, texting with one hand and my dick in the other. I an fucking awesome.
she told me her two favorite things were grocery stores and dick.
There are many reasons why he shouldn't come over. And each one is longer than his penis.
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
there was 12 of us, girls included, shirtless and wielding swords as we bet on rock paper scissors in the middle of the bar. It was like Cinco de Mayo version of the Deer Hunter
Just got done fucking the squirter chick. She came when we were in a 69. I now know what it's like to be water boarded.
Just warning you now f you do not get intoxicated with me in front of the family on thanksgiving we are not related.
I found a phone book at the party and started calling everyone with my last name asking if they wanted to form a club. I'm meeting one for brunch tomorrow...
So i know i shouldnt being spending random large amnts of money...but i just bought a sword.
Yes I did. Thanks. I was actually an hour and half early. I'm better at public transport than I thought. Guy behind me on the bus is also crying. We compared cry-snot. It was nice in a weird sad way.
Yeah no problem. What are blow job angels for anyways
I'm gonna die. First I'm gonna throw up. But then I'm gonna die.
I'm just saying, if you haven't been dropped off at a Wawa at 5:30 in the morning by 3 cop cars, you're missing out
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
WTF ARE YOU DOING IT'S FUCKING VEGAN COFFEE IT'S MADE WITH NUT MILK YOU'RE NOT A FUCKING SQUIRREL.
Randomize
