so ur a construction worker, male escort, sex god and surfer? lol
well its been awhile since I've surfed
If he comes back to you and I'm left alone in lonelytown I'm totally going to poo on your car.
overheard a conversation between 2 lesbians: 'back when I used to have dick sex...' oh, vegas, I so heart you
He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
im taking a nap outside. wake me up in an hour.
way to go to work and not wake me up. when you get home youre rubbing me with aloe and giving me a blowjob. no excuses
mary just dropped the yahtzee dice in her wine. and shes throwin em like shes on a craps table.
hahahaha slap the bag.
I'm promoting my liver to CEO of my body cause it clearly works harder than anything else.
The trees feel like magic. Come fly to taco bell with me.
I went to the bathroom, came back, and my friend was sleeping leaning up against the stripper pole.
She's licking the whiskey out of the carpet. I think we may be soulmates.
You could see the bone sticking out of his shin and he insisted he was "just gunna walk it off"
So the pizza place just called me after an hour saying they don't have dough
GO RIDE HIS EYEBROWS INTO THE SUNSET
Haha I had a heart to heart with a stripper so I would say it was a success?
Dude, she was there with her husband and I was there with my wife. Of course we banged in the bathroom.
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