Swine flu. Run for my life!
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
Took it a bit far last night. While leaving his house, I sent myself a text that said, 'you're still pretty"
Just got a lecture from Dad about how I need to be more responsible and start buying my weed in larger quantities so that i can save money. Like he was serious and kind of disappointed in me for not adapting to his method earlier.
I just found out my birth date is Pick Your Poison Day. Goodbye, conscience, forever. I was born to live like this.
I found out what happened to my eye. I punched myself in the face.
everything was going well until edgar threatened to handcuff the security guard to himself.
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
You were carrying around a milk crate, randomly putting it down calling out 'praise be to the milk gods' and making people pray to it.
we've had our differences but let's set them aside, go home and fuck
he wouldn't lick chocolate syrup off of me because he's vegan. most awkward shower ever.
Sarah's knitting me a hat as an apology for unknowingly making out with my boyfriend
I love it when he cheats on me with nice people
Just remember, Dont make worse choices than american flag pants to your own birthday party
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
His pet bird was perched ON HIS DICK.
Randomize