we were going to warn you, but we veto-ed that idea somewhere between "this is the stupidest thing we've ever done" and "let's order a pizza"
why weren't you at the audition last night?
booty call before role call
update: last drink of the night and im naked in my porch hammock. life is good.
Even the paramedic said "what a way to kill a party"
so i might have figured out why that girl isn't talking to me...I'm 90% confident I didn't give her a pillow when she stayed over >.>
I felt guilty, it was so good!
Guilty? Oh great, I give the Jewish mother-in-law of blowjobs.
Waking up at a teachers house is a very confusing thing
I think weed is turning my hair brown
I'm sexting with a 20 year old that has a foot fetish... This is what Sailor Jerry drives me to do.
I swear it’s like he’s filling my soul via my vagina
So I justmade it back home and was greeted to a squirrel in my dorm... Last time I let my friends rent it out for a party.
i have a serious question for you... Why I am i not wearing any pants?
so on the street and some kid is chanting "cheeseburger, cheeseburger, cheeseburger!" while pumping his fist in the air. i agree.
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
They were playing some sort of fast food scavenger hunt game as an ice breaker. Some chick stamped a Starbucks logo on my hand and told me to go find the girl with the matching stamp and fill her with cream.
Dave had an Arby’s stamp and some sorority girl grabbed him and screamed “I’ve have the meat!”\n
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