There's a hobo dancing by himself. Is anyone going to ask how he got in the house?
Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
now you know why we've never bought a 12 pack of king cobras before.
Ifound a recepit for a hotel room in my sock. soo.. Ithink thats where my dog is.
in the past 3 nights i've fucked a millionaire, a drug dealer and a civil engineer... i dont really have a "type" anymore
Chick in class has 69 tattooed on the back of her neck. Target acquired.
Uhm; your sign says 'Welcome to KFC' and for some reason I can't seem to open the door.
Who the fuck superglued glowsticks to my arm.
Oh shit. The hangover. It has taken 20 mins and 5 attempts to tie my shoelaces
Well, my eyeball is red and the rest of my eye is black. Oh the joys of drinking with u. PS- I laid in a pile of sawdust. it was ok at the time.
You motherfucker. I just had an MRI with a penny under my boob.
Not at all! I'll let your potential employer know you have a huge dick
He asked me how flexible I was and all I could think about was that time I threw my back out putting in a tampon.
Like I'll lick your nuts to make you feel better if you don't get it
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