He like poked it twice with the tip of his tongue then left it alone. I'm sad.
There's an old bald Japanese dude on the metra next to me. He's drinking MGD on a crowded train, and rocking out way too hard to what may be the same Dallas Green song I'm listening to. Life is sweet.
i just masturbated in footie pajamas. there's no judgement here.
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
I miss the smell of you or some shit.
I will seriously deflate and melt into the floor into a puddle of devestation, shame and vodka.
You and your vagina are hellbent on selfdestruction and bad decisions
Dude...can we put that on a tshirt? I will totally sport that shit.
how does someone with a Masters Degree leave poop in an ashtray in the sink? It just blows my mind
its the pipe that keeps on giving. Just when I think it's done, I scrape just enough. It's a st. Patrick's day miracle!
Also, do you have any insight as to WHY I have a note saved from the 17th of June that reads *clears throat*, "you got that swanky blues libido"
No i dont need a babysitter i have my cats. Cats can dial 911 ya know
You spent an hour sitting naked in your neighbor's Jeep Wrangler yelling in a terrible British accent about how you were "on a safari". Then you passed out on your lawn.
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
we need to open a bar. a bar with... wait for it... A FUCKING BALL PIT.
LOL. Do you guys need a ride home?
No. we're home already. i just thought it was a brilliant fucking idea.
I have acquired a mango...tonight is successful so far
Her name is susan
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