Yea. The knew something was up when i told them i had to go pick up goat milk and and and a roasted chicken at 2 am
he told me my vagina needed a tic tac
your ex dropped by. you can call me dwight howard, cuz im the king of rebounds
I'm on his itunes. He has a sex playlist. It's actually not so much a playlist as 12 Kylie Minogue songs with a big gay Whitney finish.
I just found blacked-out interviews on my voice recorder. Go journalism.
Apparently I walked up to him, mumbled something incoherently, then started to make out with him. Why does this always happen.
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
She's cute, but batshit. Like some kind of dominatrix disney princess.
Obama's speech on in 9 mins. Me in the shower now. Naked. Make your choice.
I'm bringing the tv in with me.
You understand the drunkenness of my drunkenness
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
The landlord wasn't even off the porch yet and she was packing a bowl, I can't imagine a better best friend
Who the fuck watches Jessica jones and thinks I need to call a past fling?
So nothing to worry about, but i'm probly going to jail soon, just thought i should let you know so you didn't worry. Bye!
We got stoned and watched Disney movies all night. I think I'm in love.
Randomize
