just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
Best porno line to date...."drinks are on me..." while she female ejaculates into a wine chalice
The bridesmaids just went smackdown on the floor, over the bouquet. I saw nipple. Best wedding ever
so we started it doggy style, but since we were really drunk kinda fell to the side and turned into a 'lazy dog'... my new favorite position btw
The beer-amid has reached five feet. Caitlyn has a taser. GTG
I take your giggles as a yes to operation McLaxitives?
Bathtub guy came to. He helped me roll the fat chick away from the fridge. Shower and breakfast are on. You're plan failed!
okay have fun. but Under NO circumstances ever attempt to outdrink the german exchange student. no matter how badly you want to blow him. just don't.
I woke up in my living room, on the floor, wearing nothing but a fur coat?
At least I remembered to wear a bra. I feel like that's a big accomplishment right now
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
Happy 4 year arrest-aversary! I promise no thanksgiving has been as eventful as that one haha..
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
I had Mac n cheese made with weed butter last night. Epic
He jerked off some dude with a slice of Wonder Bread.
The sports guy?
Yeah. They claimed the bread made it hetero
Randomize