I just got asked by a man in the alley if i would like to buy 50 dollars of meat for 20 bucks. Its been a weird day.
I think the best way to start out any day is to watch 80's music videos. It's like visual wheaties.
and she said "My body is an orphanage, I take everybody in"...
Sex and the city 2 and twilight getting released in the same month. God hates mankind.
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
once you started introducing yourself as "running-bear" i knew you were beyond fucked up
I gave him head and we watched Fashion Police. somehow it wasn't awkard.
What's the over under on catching something from your sister?
The sound of my own breathing is making my head throb. That hungover.
All my money is going towards making my vagina hairless
Worth it.
I'm going to be an 8 year old girl down there foreverrrr #fountainofyouth
You were upset that she was flirting with your boyfriend so I thought the best game plan was to show her my boobs and get her to make out with me instead. I am the greatest friend on absinthe.
I'm using the Malibu pitcher you stole from the bar to make pancakes this morning. It's actually working really well.
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
I can't believe the police had to bring me to my booty call last night
& I came downstairs to find my whole family discussing the fact that I have a vibrator, which my mom found accidentally....
Randomize
