I might be drunk enough to make out with you. You don't want to miss this unique opportunity.
I just want you to know that me val and amanda are drinking on top of a hill lookig at the chicago skyline drinking icehouse and we just peed in public.
is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
official worst smell ever. a used condom that has gone through the dryer.
Changed my sheets. Found a can of rockstar, crushed bag of tostitos, used tissues, and enough of both of our clothes to make a whole outfit.
She was raised with a wonderful home life. I can't do anything with that.
Get everyone into the kitchen. I need you all to witness me friend-zoning him. Just in case.
Blackout me just wants to pee on sober me's dreams. Literally.
You made a course evaluation for your vagina? Wow. You really are a professor now.
I'm never drinking with you again. I woke up in Midtown with a 7' tall Norwegian rugby player named Lexie. Never. Again.
Try to make ecstasy cheese. Capitalize on the molly and greek yogurt trends. MARKETING
a reward? ill think of something
if its not drugs or food I swear to god ill throw a fit
I could not add him. He gets 5 likes on Instagram.
Just boned her on my desk. on top of my term paper. take that professor dipshit
About that photo of the cake you just sent. You do realize it’s on a glass table, right? We can all see your reflection in it, and you’re very obviously naked.
Randomize
