She pulled a cheeseburger out of her purse. I have missed her so much.
First time i ever had an awkward silence during sex.
I just got hit on by my highschool french teacher. I need to stop going to this bar.
Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
Sorry I tried to blow your roommate in your room. I felt more at home there.
my bartender licked my nipple. never stay after hours
I was wasted and the time changed. I blame the male strippers.
Yes she was blowing me but I couldnt see her face. The only light was from the sparklers she asked me to hold. I love 4th of July.
If you don't wanna wax my ass just say so.
WE'RE NOT MAKING A DICK PIZZA OKAY
Most of my life can be described like an HBO prison drama.
The tamale guy is fucking with me, I wanna sleep in he wakes me up; early wake-n-bake and he's late and I'm hungry
She moved all of her stuff out while we were gone. Shit in the toilet, and didn’t flush. So yeah it went well.
Yeah I'm just gonna stay here and spread my horniness to the world.
I just went to cvs and bought condoms, handcuffs and a coloring book
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