last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
Michael Jackson had a heart attack when he found out boyz to men was a music group not a delivery service.
hey just checking if u still hate me for sleeping with your sister?
I should never bitch about not getting laid. He's begging me to come over and I'm saying no because I'm watching a Golden Girls marathon.
He walked me home last night across campus while i fed him pasta out of a solo cup at 3 am.
If I EVER think it's a good idea to blow someone who just showed me their synchronized swimming performance on youtube again please correct me immediately.
I give you full permission to fuck a rando on my air mattress.
I like it when Amish boys stare at my boobs, even tho I can't tell if it's in appreciation or disgust. Rumspringa, mothafuckers.
You yelled "I gave my neighbor some of my bitch sauce" and then passed out. You now have drinking limits with us.
I told him I was on the pill and it was OK to fire away. I want to never have to wear panty house or ever go to an office again. This is my early retirement plan. I want half of his NBA money.
He may not be fully over his current wife yet. But wait until I show him my tits in his office at the end of the day tonight.
He should know he can't successfully wrestle in pudding fully clothed. Amateur.
We don't know where he is but he left his pants and what appears to be a tooth here so he's gotta come back sometime
He painted a swimsuit on me. Naked day at the lake was a success.
that lady just saw me taking a picture of her baby... It's time to leave.
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