ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
Dude, just got a bummer.
What??
A blow job from a homeless chick.
it was a mass text i'm sorry
do you usually send 'hey sexy' as a mass text?
I just want to sing "highway to the danger zone" when I'm taking his pants off.
When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
It's just like the Real World with babies
My roommate found me crawling down the hallway as she was on her way to her morning class. Its time for a new semester.
being a part time student has turned me into a full time alcoholic.
Its everclear night, yall need carbs in your body!
I'm at some strange place in what feels like Mexico, high and getting tacos.
it's my favorite when the couple downstairs are having sex so loud that i feel like I'm part of a threesome
second-hand sex is fun, isn't it?
I did not get laid last night bc my condoms were too small. I'm allowed to be dreary
I still think it's strange your mom saw me 93% naked with a Santa hat on and a raging boner. Tis the season right?
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
I tired using vodka to remove my makeup
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