It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
he believed the zit on my nose was a piercing...until he tried to bite it. needless to say he didnt ask for my number
Sign #1 this conference will suck: Ice breaker question, how many proud virgins do we have in the room, overwhelming response. Looks like I'm not getting laid this weekend.
Ive been tazing him too get him immuned. He will be unstopable.
Just checked my recent transactions online. Between the hours of 1 and 3am on September 30th, I went to 7/11 4 times. Unacceptable.
So fucked up. Can't tell if I'm starving or about to puke. Playing it safe and eating froot loops. Tasty in, colorful out.
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
Dude, seduce him with cookies. You almost turned me gay with scones. Don't be surprised when they get you laid.
Cheez-its and a bottle of cab...for under $10 you could win this girls heart
If he doesn't give you the same feelings you get when the pizza guy arrives, he's probably not worth it.
Being sober is no fun. Karaoke and not wearing pants are not socially acceptable things to do anymore and this depresses me.
I don't know what she looks like but I'm pretty sure she has a pussy.
He left cushions on my floor, chocolate on my bra and unexplained scratches on my thighs. I think this one might get a second date.
Woke up from a black out in a strangers Jeep without phone, shoes, or wallet.
You can only use the "she handcuffed me naked to your bed, i couldn't do anything, sorry bro" excuse once.
You have a tempurpedic. you only have you to blame.
Randomize
