You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
Apparently I mistakenly called the hair club for men at 3am... they called me back this morning.
There needs to be waaaay more alcohol in my apartment if I am going to survive being unemployed
So fucked up. Can't tell if I'm starving or about to puke. Playing it safe and eating froot loops. Tasty in, colorful out.
I just had someone I don't even know on Facebook message me saying it seems like I drink too much and should slow down.
I just want to jump into a ballpool of dicks now.
Nobody knows who the hobo or dude who whipped out his balls is
And then you'll find yourself a hot chick and leave me behind with nothing but my back fat to keep me company.
This would be a good time to bring up the fact that my spider-man fork is MIA
I have grass duct taped all over my body
Honestly, it's his loss. He went for the free sample when he could've gotten the whole package, babes.
does that make me the free sample at the grocery store he didn't like enough to buy...? yeah, that advice didn't help, but thanks.
Dude, you're only mentioning the Bro Code so I can't get any
I got so many dick pics last night. It was like a slideshow from heaven.
I’m on my way to fuck the new hockey player
Ride him like a Zamboni
Randomize
