My dad just sent me a text telling me to "say hi to all the luscious bitches" at the gay bar. Guess this explains my childhood
Just so you know, the bottle of red gatorade is NOT GATORADE. It is definitely someone's puke. I hope nobody else makes the same mistake I did.
I just want you to know IcyHot in the ear is weird. Don't ask.
we've got reservations. ask for the eat a bag of dicks table
You just kept holding your breath for a really long time and calling it lung excersizes.
he told her he was actually impressed that she had fucked more people in this house than the four dudes living in it.
...im seriously confused as to why this doesn't make sense to you. Girl hostage, rob casino. Makes perfect sense.
Blood everywhere...karaoke was nice
I am seriously only coming over if there are McNuggets. I want 10 bitch. Honey mustard.
I got high and had sex with reindeer antlers on. It was magical and animalistic. Tia the season.
Congrats on graduating and I'm in a cab and need someone to helps keeping me up, do you mind
I took a vibrator for a weekend with my parents instead of a boyfriend. I obviously have my life together.
I did a trust fall off the bar and then almost got into a knife fight over a push up competition. Just another Tuesday.
One of the Mormon boys that comes to the door is really sexy and I always think 'I would absolutely destroy your faith'
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
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