Walk of Shame. In a state park.
God I'm so bored. I wish I had a baby or something to play with.
And this is exactly why you should NEVER have kids.
i'm at a baby shower....never been happier to not be having sex currently
my mom just texted me to let me know that Hooters is hiring
i wish my mom had big dreams like that for me
Jenna and Ryan are ranting and raving about child custody. MY VASECTOMY SMILES.
I will be sticking my dick in something this weekend. You can either be that something or not. Your decision.
because drunk making out is frowned upon in museums i think
100% truth: never tied someone to a bed using 4 pairs of sweatpants before
Any residual attraction has just been ruthlessly murdered by that mustache.
You didn't try to help me when I fell on the dance floor. She brought me cupcakes. You're a shitty friend, suck your own dick.
She showed me her tits outside Taco Bell....After she flashed the dude working there in an effort to get in.
Unintionally got shitfaced at study group this week. The waitress brought out a fishbowl of long Island iced tea. Challenge accepted.
Ok next time we are filming it. You bring the camera and I'll buy more socks
I mean that was the nicest way to be dumped by some one I wasn't dating.
The sex was so good we high-fived after.
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