never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
Do you think my bosses would frown upon Jameson with breakfast on this holiest of days?
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
i think he saw me take a picture of his dick
Would it be safe to assume you're the one that left my front door wide open and left yourself a trail of jaeger drops to find your way back?
Oh it's not a problem. Cleaning up the yard and disposing of 75 gallons of Jello is all I've got to look forward to today.
COME HERE WE MELTED A CORONA BOTTLE WITH FIREWORKS
so she gave me back a bag of clothing, had some boxers in it...they werent mine.... well that sums up 5 years of my life
I got my eyebrow ring humped out. How is that even possible?
The amount of times I have been emergency drunk in the past 72 hours is staggering
Last night I went outside to our neighbors and asked them to put in money with me to get a hot tub for our patio. Niceeeee
I have so many feelings about this burrito
Hillary said in her victory speech "We're gonna come together". I've got a lib-boner.
i accidentally gave my stepdad ketamine so id say it was a fun weekend.
Dear Andy-the problem is not that I slept with your girlfriend, it's that you didn't know she's a lesbian.
Randomize
