I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
When I try to close my eyes ibwant to puke. Going to the basement to watch pocohantas. That'll keep myeyes open. And puke free.
did i get hit in the head with a hammer? someone just asked me...
i'm gonna start fucking more girls with asthma. help feed my ego.
I was in the freezer we were knocking over shit. Speaking of which i asked my boss. I can hook up with girls in the freezer
Yeah just sayin. Whenever you want to come over and wank me off you can
Getting cock-blocked by Jeff Bridges. NOT OKAY.
I don't know what to tell you, usually I would just ask if they'd like to meet the captain. If you can't get laid it's your problem.
You tried to pay for our cab with the 2 dollars you got from selling your natty ice outside the strip club.
I just don't remember. It's like I went to bed on July 3rd.. and woke up on the 5th. Nothing.
Wow has his pick up routine ever gotten bad. He is trying to use cheese as a way to flirt with the waitress
Oh man, he played the Harvarti cheese card and it didn't work. Now he is flailing
WHITE RUSSIAN BREAKFAST CEREAL.
So I was just like hi, I'm your roommate's gf. Please don't hate me. That would be rly inconvenient for you.
So yeah, my old kindergarten teacher just asked me who gave me the hickies on me neck.
I didn't want to leave, I wanted to move into his ass
I better get weekly incoherent text messages or I will assume something is wrong.
Randomize
