they just came back. i guess "were gonna go get dinner" means "were gonna fuck for 5 minutes at the little league field"
I think i peed on brittanys purse
..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
No stds, not pregs, and lost two pounds. I'd call that a successful two years of grad school.
I had sex on an exercise ball. The inevitable has occurred.
You should be proud. How many people can say they GAVE a stripper an std?
Is it acceptable to cry on a Friday or am I supposed to drink to forget it?
You just accidentally called me. You kept saying "Really?! Really?!!" So I can only assume you are having sub par sex
I might have been the first person in 2015 to throw up on a yellow cab before climbing in it.
I lost my voice. So I'm going to pretend I'm Ariel with legs today.
I'm at forever 21 and someone pooped in the dressing room.
It took him 15 minutes to put the condom on.
all I remember is them saying he had a big dick and the next thing I know I’m leaving with him
All I want right now is a waffle and some fried chicken and a penis.
Randomize
