Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
Just got booted from water taxi for showing my balls to a security guard.
Just try to lay there and not be pregnant.
I didn't mean to leave you there I just didn't know him well enough to throw up in his bathroom.
Sometimes i wish my penis was detachable that way i could take it off sometimes so i wouldnt get into these situations
I can't believe I just compared my penis to a St. Bernard.
Yeah, all the sudden I heard a loud "ding" and realized I had been passed out on the dorm elevator for about an hour....
He told me to fuck off at some point in the night. I think it was right before he jumped out of a moving car trying to get to another bar and made Abby cry.
But hes like a baby bird with a broken wing that i want to FUCK.
The sun is gonna brush it's hairy dick across my forehead in the morning, gently whispering: "you're 4 hours late for work"
I woke up with what appeared to be LSD in my pocket. Know anything about this?
Idk you're asking me for advice on dating bro, after I told you I got a convicts number today.
THIS IS AN AMERICAN HORROR STORY I CAN'T FIND MY VIBRATOR ANYWHERE WHICH MEANS I LOST IT WHEN I MOVED WHICH MEANS MY POOR VIBRATOR IS OUT THERE IN THE WORLD ALL ALONE RIGHT NOW WHAT AM I GOING TO DO
Uhhh...I just found your 10 dollar bill in my bra. I owe you 10 dollars.
I knew I no longer wanted to bone him when he put the Grease soundtrack on as "mood music", no guy looks attractive singing and dancing to greased lightning naked.
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