when you close your eyes do you see, that mystical creature will be me.
who is this?
okay pat passed out under dana's car
just woke up in the beanbag bin at walmart
Puked in a cab. Passed out on my floor an my mom put a blanket over me. Home by 1045. I won shitshow trophy last night.
Maybe I need a light up heart over my vagina like Christina aguilera to get the point across
i feel this outfit says i'm better than you, but i might give you a handjob behind a building
please tell me you're in jail and for some reason they have wifi
I'm at a nursing home getting weed. Lol when times are tough, things tend to get a lil weird
My therapist keeps stopping to ask what 'hooking up' means
ITS ORAL SEX CAROL
He offered to buy me free breakfast if I stayed at the hotel overnight with him. I then realized they have a complimentary breakfast.
You declared your undying love to a drag queen, then proceeded to puke into the poor man's purse.
I'm sure as hell not getting hoodwinked into going back to rehab again
NO. NONE OF THAT. SHAME ON YOU.
on a scale of one to ten where does vomming from being hungover during a professionalism lecture fit
Weight watchers just said "you've tracked beer three times recently, want to make it one of your favorites?" I'm begining to understand why I needed to go in the first place.
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