I'm putting on too much make up bc I'm stoned
I just put my retainer in and it tastes like weed
i have to go see a new gyno today. he's a male. i just took 3 shots of tequila. its almost like freshman year... drink alcohol, meet a strange man, let him play with my vagina.
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
So we are lighting beer bottles on fire and breaking them in half to make glasses
That sounds dangerous
Don't worry......were wearing oven mits.
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
Well the walls are thin and I can hear the couple next door having sex. I think their dog is somehow involved.
Your cousin just asked the bartender to start a round of vagina shots. Not body shots. Vagina shots. We're taking her out more often.
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
So you're on like a list there now..."Do not under any circumstances give this person a knife. Serve them in plastic cups ONLY"
I curse you to think about Guy Fieri whenever you have sex with your lady.
Got an egg Mcmuffin combo, and put the hash brown in the sandwich. That level of hungover
I'm excited for him and his new girlfriend. I'm just going to miss his penis is what I'm saying.
I woke up in a limo in long Island, Ny this morning. Talk about a black out
Randomize
