So I'm at the Chevron by your house. I need a condom and a couch.
Together?
Preferably.
she needs to learn to take compliments like she takes dicks.
when i tried to put the condom on he started screaming about how he didn't want his groceries bagged
This weekend is gunna be a fucking shitshow. I don't even wanna know how many dicks will end up inside of me
first one here with a pint of chicken lo mein, aspirin, and diet green tea ginger ale, gets a full effort bj the day after tomorrow.
...im seriously confused as to why this doesn't make sense to you. Girl hostage, rob casino. Makes perfect sense.
Bon Iver should never be played when you just ate shrooms.
You need to be more adventurous.
I am! Just not in a "I wanna get diseases" way
I want to see boobs tonight. Like, real ones. Your ones.
I'm romantic.
i formally give you permission to eat me when i pass out
Got my parents to pick me up from the party, take me to the bar and buy all my drinks, then drop me off at my booty calls house.
Yeah. I'm so over work, that I'm not even satisfied pretending to work anymore. I just flat out want to go home. Fuck this job
What started out as a one night stand ended in him texting me the next day, saying he thought he was gay.
I just sold Adderall to a priest, im not quite sure how I feel about this situation
Remember the guy with the pretty voice that gave us crabs?
Randomize
