Thats cool. we found a cat INSIDE a coke machine.
It was kinda bitchy last night when i brought up my pregnancy scare and you said "shotty playing with it"
well i was about to unbutton his pants but then i realized they had an elastic waste-band, so no, that didnt happen
so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
Girls night always turns into let's seperate and get laid night.
I didn't even realize you were getting that drunk until bam!
is bam when I fell down the stairs or when I threw up standing at the bar?
The look I see on guys faces when they realize my nipples are pierced remind me of when my mom used to come home from the grocery store and surprise me with poptarts.
but then the words kidney pain and possible testicle shrinkage kept ringing in my head
I was gonna tell her, but there were too many tongues in my mouth
She's like a solid nine. Well maybe not a tomorrow morning nine, but she's a nine right now and trying to take me home.
Care to explain the single rose and the package of "Cowboy Moustaches" I found on the porch?
I woke up to half of the whiskey bottle gone, and apparently I showered in my clothes. Pretty good start to SB2015 I'd say?
My mom has a bong in her bathroom, but no air freshener.
I'm watching Part of Your World now and I'm crying and I feel like I'm floating right along with her. This. This right here is some drunken Disney Magic
Just trying to show you I care.
Isn't it supposed to be "what would you like for dinner?" instead of "how do you take your blow?"
Hey, you're the one who asked me to mc to move in.
Randomize
