why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
She asked to borrow my chapstick then said "I promise I won't get herpes on it"
you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
It's 9:30am and I've already blown three loads. Reason #101 I love 25 year old girls.
we had to stop you from eating moldy cake.. twice.
Don't worry about it. Anal sex isn't always sunshine and wildflowers.
time for you to cut the loving, understanding, non-judgmental crap and say/do whatever it takes to make sure I never, ever, ever sleep with him again ever
On my way, five mins. Is the line long? Do you think they will they hold a pumpkin at coat check?
Trust no bitch in laser tag. Not a single one.
The stripper was dressed as the green lantern. Even for a geeky girls' bachelorette party it was lame ass.
And for today's main disappontment. I thought I saw a midget with fireworks get on the buss, alas it's a child with cleaning supplies
My hookup from last weekend apparently got arrested today... his roommate just tagged me on facebook asking for bail money.
You think that was bad? One time my parents found my sister half naked on top of the four runner in the garage. She makes me look like the good child.
I have to touch the horse lube. :-(
Only good thing about the 50 Shades is that it is now completely OK to call a credit card co to dispute the charge for nipple clamps that didnt arrive.
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