Sex on a kitchen table is not as amazing as they make is seem in the movies.
I wanted to tell him he wasn't actually in me, but my god, awkward?
When I meet a new girl, I'm terrified of mentioning something she hasn't already told me but that I have learned from some light internet stalking.
I can die happy now, I have been kicked out of strip clubs on six different continents
Being back home for the summer opens up so many opportunities to have sex without increasing my number
tonight i'm going for the "i fuck with the lights on" look
You told me you aren't worried about the police that you've been training for this an that the last three months of your life have been devoted to building up your stun gun tolerance and pepper spray recovery time.
I need to have some sort of hot sex experience in a mask.
Look if 10 am was too early to go barrel tasting the winery would not be open.
Reunion weekend was a success. Had 3 ex's inside my vag. Hat trick!
It was just...long. I started around 2. And I think i went to bed around 2. So 12 straight hours? I remember a milkshake and frozen grapes.
he called me ma'am when we were fucking last night...he's five years older than me. I think I'm in love.
I share a birthday weekend with Easter this year, so that fucking sucks. I hate sharing...and I have to share with fucking Jesus this year.\n
Found out that I went to the same elementary school as the guy I'm hooking up with. Kosher or no
If you need me I'll be in the hospital involving super glue and fake eyelashes.
Randomize
