I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
The only reason I'm still around is so I can grow a huge Gandalf beard when my hair turns gray
ive come to realize my hair is a lot like my vagina. i put a bunch of shit in it with no result
If you win this game of words with friends, ill suck you off for 30 minutes. No lie.
I cant last that long. Do i get the rollover minutes?
She gave 2 thumbs up when Nirvana came on the radio while blowing me in the bathroom
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
A girl at the bar is wearing green body paint instead of a shirt. Where are you?!
Happiness was finding the hidden Gatorade in the fridge
I think I'm just gonna be a cat and wear slutty black clothes with some eyeliner on my face and pretend my ears got stolen by a drunk guy
I plan on just grabbing someone's dick if I have to. They will know what's up. Why else do you go to a bar alone on valentines day?
I'm the kind of girl who misses her mouth when trying to eat, do you honestly think I'm coordinated enough to wear heels during sex?
I want to sit on top of her nipple mountains and reenact the Ricola commercial.
sooo, that video of you eating lasangna with the strobe going magically reappeared on my phone
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
Randomize
