he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
he paid for dinner at the eiffel tower. drinks at a bar on the champs elysees. gave me a motorcycle ride back to his house, got us heineken and then took me to park overlooking paris. where he ate me out on a park bench. still have doubts about the french?
I'm not afraid to fist fight your child if I feel he is standing in between me and some tacos.
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
I think he's hit rock bottom. You know it's a low point in life when you cry because you weren't invited to sit in a box car and watch porn with two other straight dudes.
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
I did my walk of shame through a safeway at 8am to get YOUR hangover bagels. You're welcome asshole
Why am I sticky / covered in baby Tylonel?
Make sure you plan your visit for October. That's ACL festival, it's like every Bro in the country converges on Austin. My vagina wants to go hunting.
We did it to 80's cardio music. Talk about a workout.
Well at least I will forever be known as the girl he ate out on the lifeguard stand while people walked by. On the first date.
Why is everyone judging me for telling the cat a bedtime story?
I'm more heavily invested in that tequila than you are
And the you walked in and said to the only under age dude "IM NOT SLEEPING WITH YOU TONIGHT!!!" You may not have high standards but thanks for not sleeping with my brother!
Randomize
