im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
You tired to make Beefaroni in the Mr. Coffee machine.
Hi, my name's audrey!
Max?
Sorry, this girl is phone-stealing drunk.
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
Also I feel like 60% of our relationship is based on sausage mcmuffins.
So excited for tonight I might actually pee my pants BEFORE I get blackout
I just found your spare underwear and the half eaten granola bar you left in my purse.
I feel like I got hit by a bus. A head on collision with my vag.
And there was a legally blind kid in a ref costume doing surprisingly well at beer pong who was passing out business cards
If my life today were a movie the subtitle would be: Revenge of the Beer Shits
The first time he ever tried to hold my hand, I moon walked away.
I finally got my restraining order in the mail. Was that supposed to upset me? I'm just over here like "TELLEM BOY BYE!-\nlegally..."
Let's make a rule now, to not smoke weed out of our trumpets. After tonight.
Everytime after he came, he'd laugh uncontrolably for ten mintutes. He was sober..
How do you confess that you've had phone sex with your fiancé's brother's ex-girlfriend's new guy she's dating who has also slept with your best friend?
Randomize
