My grandmass entire neighborhood is over for dessert and i'm high as fuck...about to make a couple of freshman boys real uncomfortable
Freshman in high school? Just your type
Getting food. Want anything?
Vagina. Double meat no buns. I have the secret sauce
Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
He spent most of his night trying to convince people that he had changed and was no longer a sleazebag...he had his nut hanging out of his pants about an hour later.
Do any of you want to be on a three way call with me while this girl masturbates in 10 min? You can't talk
I'm pretty sure there was a language barrier but he knew what "harder" meant.
I'm sorry and I love you. One day we're going to live in a whore mansion with our babies and make boys cry.
Jesus Christ I am the crazy cat lady of vibrators
Emoji's do wonders when you actually have nothing at all to say..
I feel like a pet sloth would complement my lifestyle.
purchased gas station taquitos and condoms at 4 this morning. It has been magical..
I like to send nudes ok? If that's my biggest flaw I think I'm ok
There was a woman who drank mouth wash to get drunk during her supposed detox...this is def the internship for me!
We could just stay sober.
No! We tried that once.
It sucked.
the voting booth dude cock blocked me or she woulda totally blown me in the voting booth.
Randomize
