im in an endless cycle of being too hung over to eat all day...then getting too drunk because i didnt eat anything. where is my life going?
A disheveled girl in front of me just looked down, shrieked, and yelled to the girl next to her "what is this" while pointing at two large white stains near the crotch of her black jeans. I love that Thursdays are weekends, it makes awesome Friday mornings
is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
dude your girlfriend is running naked down the hall with a raw chicken taped to her stomach saying this is what I'll look like pregnant...run far far away
I woke up to his little sister feeling me up. I guess it's time to meet the family.
I hope this doesn't become one of those friendships where we dont have sex
I'm not really sure what went on in my mouth last night but right now it tastes like what I can only imagine is a mixture of astroglide and peanut butter. You hungry?
WE COULD TOTALLY DO ECSTASY AND GO TO THAT CAT SHELTER OFF OF BROADWAY.
He said he wanted to "superfuck" me
Does he wear a cape??
Still no second date. Guess you shouldn't show guys your taser on the first date.
Just described you as looking like "a very cute escapee from an Egyptian insane asylum"
Fuck that guy and his dumb haircut and awesome dick
Its a good night when you make $200 and didn't have to see any balls
You're a wizard. You are a master of disguise. You are beautiful. I love you.
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
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