What can I say...he's packing some serious heat down there. You wouldn't expect that looking at him, huh?
I guess God knew he was going to be bald...
I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
I had my first sober conversation with his roommate. I remembered half way through that the first time we met I was getting fucked on his counter
my mom was in labor with me for 32 hours, it's only fair to start drinking now.
Dude, I went home and roller-bladed into her bedroom so I didn't have a 'walk' or shame in the morning..I wouldn't talk to her unless she refereed to me as Brink
You know when the three of us hug it out in the alcohol isle in walmart it's gonna be fun.
Bad behavior is like a petri dish that grows organically In my heart
You were force feeding yourself jello and you kept repeating, "I will not surrender"
When he pulled it out last night I asked if that was as hard as it was going to get. I think I may have offended him.
you fail at everything in life besides blacking out
Well I just finished dry heaving so I think breakfast is a little further out for me
So instead of going to meet her mom, I decided to jump out of her window which was about 1.5 stories off the ground. I'm alright, but I ended up meeting her mom anyway.
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
Not sure if your roommate speaks German while sleeping, or if she woke up, figured out we were fucking, and used German to swear at us.
got cock blocked by the cops again. two of the cops were the same ones from that t bell incident and they recognized me... they still dont like me
Randomize
