have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
I would pay so much money for a video of you fucking a sheep
i just looked up and i was like omg ballsack and then i didnt know what to do
Then I received a text in French, that roughly translated to "all you'll ever be good for is sex on the Internet"
Just paid my credit card bill at the bar. This phone makes it so I never have to leave
Oh I woke up in my neighbors garage using one of their sleeping bags, as my neighbor was doing laundry in there.
I saw you sitting on top of my car trying to row back home... Did you make it?
We should hook up after this. Laugh or look horrified to say yes.
I asked if anyone's pants felt wet on the bottom, like a half hour after mine did. I had just peed my pants i had gotten so high no biggie
Pooping with Eye of the Tiger playing. Not a single fuck shall be given.
I was very impressed with his ability to carry on a conversation with his friends sitting in the front seat with his hand in my pants, getting a hand job, stoned, with a cigarette in his mouth. I think he's a keeper.
I woke up to find I still had sequins under my tits. I'd say Sunday was a success.
Also I like oatmeal more than sex.
I think I left my bra and my crocs in your room
If you have been drunk at one point during the day and are going to bed sober that same day, something is very wrong.
Randomize
