Bar. Show boob. Just one. Free drinks. Instant friends
Guys only need one. Little known secret. You're welcome.
I just chugged a whole pitcher of beer in 1 min. 9 sec. A whole goddamn pitcher.
I'm to the point in my high that every song eventually turns into Lady Gaga
strippers are much less mysterious after you sleep with them
I know the scar will be in an obvious place, that's why I'm certain it'll score me cancer blowjobs
His parents had a bottle of captain morgan on the table for me when I went for dinner. I feel accepted
Blood. All over. Pre coke adventure needs to slow down unless I'm involved
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
You were throwing cups at people in the basement, yelling at them to get out of your swamp.
I had jack at 8 am= instant drunk
There is a couple fucking in the outback bathroom and at first I thought it was sick but than I remembered my Outback fantasy with you and decided I can't pass judgements.
He was so traumatized by the It's a small world ride but he immediately pulled out a flask from god-knows-where and got drunk before the ride was over. The ride operator didn't blame him.
In a few weeks I'll be a beautiful butterfly and me and my cat will have to repopulate the earth. WE WILL REBUILD!!
He said when the pizza came I zip locked one slice and went to the couch and snuggled with it. Does that give you an idea of how my night was?
You ever fart so hard it made you cum a little? A "friend of mine" wanted to know.
Randomize
