i was born a porn star she said
I look better un-naked...
i've come to the conclusion that there is no classy way to apply chloroseptic spray to your butthole.
I'm eating my dinosaur chicken nuggets in the order they would die in the food chain.
she told me her two favorite things were grocery stores and dick.
i shall enjoy my approximately 2 hours of being sober today
Ps. The strap-on in the pic i sent you last night was not mine. Just wanted to clear that up.
i just had a pap smear and two shots. lets hit the beach.
How did "just two beers for happy hour" turn into naked backyard wrestling?
its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless
Here is your half hour reminder. Meet you at emergency room.
And my coffee table looks like something out of Scarface
We go out, we get drunk, we watch Star Wars, we pass out. What's wrong with this tradition?
We smoked a huge blunt and then laid in bed naked eating strawberry shortcake good humor bars. We have the perfect relationship.
I HAVE A FLAME THROWER. COME SEE IT. IT’S SAFE AND WORKS.
Randomize