tequila makes my crab dance SOOOO much better
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
you realize that if you hadn't mouthed "we're getting laid tonight", i wouldn't have woken up with your ex this morning. just sayin
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
Its official, drinking for 15 hours counts as a suicide attempt
Why the fuck is the royal wedding at 4am. That is obviously not the most appropriate time to drink during finals. It's like I'm bound to fail, by royal decree.
college stoner meal of the day: microwaved nutrigrain bars
i looked at my phone and realized all i had said to her the entire night was misspelled variations of "NOTHING IS THE SAME" over and over. she eventually stopped replying.
Nothing bad can happen when you have a kiwi flavored condom. Absolutely nothing.
I literally cut myself out of my pants. What is my life.
Riddle me this: I can stream porn just fine but try and watch my college class and nooo it won't work
Be there in 4 minutes
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
You should of known that i was high if i refer to myself as melting into anything
grapes are the best munchies food ever cuz like the juice explodes in my mouth and my mouth gets all relieved of dryness. and the skin of the grape is like the food. and theres so many grapes!
I kept yelling "BY ORDER OF THE PEAKY FUCKING BLINDERS" in a terrible brummie accent at everyone I saw wearing a flatcap.
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