so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
Apparently I was playing rock paper scissors against myself for 2 hours in the bathroom mirror.
i just remebered that we smoked out my hamster yesterday...
i hope hes still alive. i just remember you give him a shit load of cereal and saying "trust me your going to need it"
You told me to ditch them in the park, and when she jumped onto the car to stop us, you told me to scrape her off against a parked Jeep. That drunk.
You know it is an interesting night when the 911 operator calls you
the old man that you threw the shoe at says "hi" and many rude words...
Well that's the second time I've broken a lamp during sex this month. Starting to worry I'm some kind of X-man. (this one was a wall sconce and I fully smashed it with my head and it crumbled like it was made of sugar)
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
Hey I'm sorry for head butting you last night. Personally I thought it was funny at the time, but I can see how from your perspective it may not have been as enjoyable for you... Hope your lip is okay.
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
I'm about to turn myself in when I'm less hungover.
I am rewearing my dress from last night. I only wore it for like two hours before fucking. And I took it off first so no cock contact. This is my new standard of cleanliness.
UPDATE: THERE IS ASS EATING. I REPEAT: THERE IS ASS EATING.
I LinkedIn messaged people about jobs when I was blacked out
Randomize
