My balls are so social today.
I just heard a guy scream "it must be five o' clock!!" and another guy screamed "somewhere!!!" out from different balconies.
at home by myself drinkin the left over champagne from my party... who says my birthday has to end?
if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
he just called me skinny, hes either trying to get laid, or i'm going to have to marry this man
I just noticed that when I sneeze...my nipples get hard.
I'll put it this way. My grandkids felt that fuck.
he kept his composure pretty well until he puked on the cop car
It never fails.. every time I have a dick in my mouth he calls me.
I just want to see him this morning so I can bask in my wasted accomplishment.
Just drank an entire bottle of champagne for lunch. It's gonna be that kind of semester.
I'm at home, drinking with my cat. While this is an enjoyable lifestyle, other plans are preferable.
Rule of thumb; if you ask me if my tits are fake you will not get to touch them.
well a fat roach just fell out of my hair. so there's that
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