its like an ocean threw up right in your lap
Not gonna happen. She just told me she puts glitter over the mole on her nose to make it look like a piercing.
It didn't go so well. He got drunk and asked my dad if 'front or back' virginity mattered more.
I AM OVULATING LIKE A STEAM ENGINE.
My brain is foggy with friends reruns and him licking hummus off my tits.
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
I know it basically makes me the worst feminist ever, but I don't want to kill my own spiders. And I will pay my personal spider hit man with sammiches and unlimited , uninhibited access to my vagina.
Instead of getting a taxi some gay black guy drove us home. He is trying to break into the taxi business
Way to promote small business.
Just ate a chocolate chip cookie upside down. This is what having a degree does for you.
Yeah that doesn't involve enough booze, count me out
I'm actually drinking gin and juice out of a floridas natural carton...so if that has any indication of how I'm doing
He kept sending me videos of his dogs while I was trying to masturbate. At what point does getting vagina-block apply?
The only thing about him that I appreciated was that he destroyed the bathroom at your birthday and missed singing to you. And we all knew.
This is a weird combination of planning and sexting but whatever
It’s like a sexy version of those choose your own adventure books from when we were kids. No matter what you choose, there will be penis!
Randomize
