I tried to tell him it was only 2:00, but he said since it was 5:00 in New York, it was perfectly acceptable. He then put on a Blues Brothers hat and a pair of wayfarers and left. I expect him home in a few hours with a police escort.
I think we should involve a squid next time we fuck.
u kno there is a reason i dont tell mi friends about u
You can call me Bill Clinton. I brought 2 good looking Asians home last night.
So you know how craigslist used to have an "erotica" section? And how after you click on a link it changes a darker color? And how Dad stays up really late most nights?
Oh god... well at least he's gettin some. Mom's a prude.
just customized my debit card w a pic of me ralphing over the toilet. figure it'll give the bar keep a good cut off est and for shits n giggles when buying my handles at the liqour store
The kid taped his penis down so that he wouldn't get a boner while dancing with girls. Oh these middle school man whores never cease to amaze me.
High school girls are buying me shots. This will not end well.
Dammit labor day drinking cancelled due to 3 inch long table saw cut to palm
Drunk texting is the poetry of my life
Don't remember anything. Melissa just said I kept saying welcome to the bat cave
Do you want me to add this to the list of actions I will state at your intervention
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
It makes me so happy that my local liquor store has a black lab that is there every day. Really tho - it makes the higher prices excusable.
Howd last night go?
well he stumbled in my parents door drunk and then asked my mom if she was my grandma. Id say as far as first impressions go, he failed miserably
There’s an entire generation of people out there who didn’t grow up watching Mr. Rogers and it shows. These Boomers need to get their shit together.
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