got extra credit for showing up to class before a holiday. it hit me 5 minutes later that she meant easter....
Well the pizza delivery man was either startled or incredibly intrigued to see me skateboarding in the living room by myself at 1 in the morning in ripped pantyhose
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
When did it become appropriate to call your mother the morning after? While still naked in bed? WHEN?!
well this is gonna sound really bad but we were fooling around on sandra's electrical wheelchair
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
If you're wondering why you have playpen balls it's because we stopped at chuckie cheese on the way home.
Just blowing bubbles with my nipple rings in my shower.
You always make things weird.
White girls? They're everywhere. In packs. Drunk white girl packs.
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
No more house parties. We're almost fucking 30 years old and I slept until 6 pm.
So the bar crawl I'm on is a "90s bar crawl" and I made the joke about a few overweight girls that "lack of concern for your weight is so 90s" it did not end well
you are the root of all my greats nights and my worsts decisions
i can't believe i helped you shave your back last night, and she still didn't sleep with you.
If I didn't have booty calls, my apartment would never get clean
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