I discovered last night there is no graceful way to remove your face from your gf's crotch when your parents walk in the room
I feel that the whole multiple orgasm thing is god's way of saying "sorry for the childbirth deal"
She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
they shut off the water. shaving my legs with soda. that desperate.
He made me leave when I challenged "all you bitches" to a game of strip taboo.
You know how I've been hooking up with my ex? Well he told me he loved me and I said I was just there for sex so let's get it done. He looked sad, but he did it anyways. And life was good again.
Pretty sure I asked the person at the pharmacy counter in Walgreens to marry me last night. But also remember Rachel Maddow crawling through the TV screen, so my memory might be a bit compromised...
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
I am a 5'4" ball of sexual frustration and vodka. It is that kind of night.
I gave him a bunch of ideas to use to spice up their sex life. Say what you will, I am the best 'other' woman ever!
Almost to my house to grab beer. And pants.
I'm high, watching "Scream" and eating a grilled cheese sandwich off my boobs. I'm not going anywhere
Come on, clusterfuck. Put on a pushup bra and get your fine ass to the bar, or you will be a sad single stoner forever
We are all yelling at the cat at our apt in nothing but our underwear. How do you think it's going.
he asked if he should bring the trash can into the room.. apparently i shoved my finger all over his face and said.. shhhh dont talk... just take your pants off.
It will pretty much be equal to the feeling I had when you let me hold your dick while you were peeing, or when I graduated high school!
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