it seems as if every mistake i've ever made in life i've had an errection in one hand and a bud light in the other
I'm sorry that you don't think that "Daddy Issues" are a real thing, but I can tell you that some assholes who never went to their daughter's dance recitals are responsible for getting me laid...continuously.
I thought it couldn't get worse until she said "Nipple hair"
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
I wonder if our vaginas are like "o thank god, no strangers breaking in tonight." Baahhhh sooo bad
After Thursday my breakup "don't screw anybody out of respect" month will be over and I will be set loose. My pussy is purring with anticipation.
You kept whispering "Party Dave" every time someone would start talking.
Plus, it's just valuable. Virgin pee is very well-priced.
It's always a good night until the penis tattoo makes an appearance
TOPLESS DRIVE THRU! I have no money and my dignity is at an all time low.
I'm chasing my vodka with snickers.
TJ is going to paint me in a Patriots Jersey he can paint you in an eagle jersey. Did this last year and got so much dick.
You sat down in the middle of the road and started crying. We told you "Get your ass up or we're leaving you here." You replied "They'll findddd meeeeee" and ran after us.
she broke the sink..i repeat the sink is off the wall. send help
just took a pregnancy test before I went out drinking. if that's not drinking responsibly Idk what is.
Randomize
