if i wake u up at 5am tmrw by coming into ur room wearing nothing but my indiana jones hat and purple socks while singing 'courtesy of the red white + blue' will u be pleased or annoyed
keep in mind this isn't open to negotiation, i'm just trying to gauge ur reaction
it was terrible. i could've done a better job by myself.
i didnt mean to paint the dog... it just kinda happened
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
hey you forgot your wet suit in my room you can come grab it whenever
Come down. You're the next contestant on this bowl.
I actually didn't mind her sub-par blowjob skills.. It took me back to a time when skipping class was noticed, and my liver didn't look like a worn out shoe
Guess which frat house I just walked out of! And on a related note... guess who's uncircumsized
Yeah, my new jeep also came with custom license plates that read 4SKIIN. Not "4 skin" but "4 skiing" thanks mom and dad
See? I told you no boy in roller skates could be entirely straight.
So, no matter what happens today, hold on to this. At least you're not naked under your ex husband's trench coat being stopped by the police who also work with your ex husband. Long story. Actually, not a long story. That's it.
Why did I wake up naked with a leg cramp and and extra $550 in my wallet?
Banged a girl last night wearing nothing but my Team USA Olympic jersey. I think it's safe to say that nut was for America.
So the makeout sesh? Not so great. His stubble rubbed my face raw, he tried to push me towards auto-erotic asphyxiation, and he licked my forehead. Twice.
Randomize
