YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
He just randomly started talking about Haiti and Conan O'Brien and his grandpa's hip replacement operation. It was the worst phone sex I've ever had.
I feel so grown up. I just went to home depot to buy actual home improvement supplies instead of stuff to make a bong with.
There's nothing like puking in the airport on the way TO Vegas. Something tells me i pregamed a little too hard.
If this herpes test comes back negative I'm asking out the doctor.
If she were to ever cheat on her husband, I'm positive I'm the the go to guy. Which flatters me and weirds me out at the same time.
I just need to repress my desire to share my impressive chugging abilities with the world and I won't black out so much
So that's all you want from me. Easy ass.
And an everlasting friendship
I feel like we have both made good decisions regarding our vaginas lately
I may be asexual, but I owe you a solid from yesterday. I am a man of my word.
All his ex-girlfriends are delicate flowers, tho. And I'm like a trash compactor.
I wouldn't worry about it. You know what they say, THICK THIGHS MAKE THE DICK RISE.
we were running around the halls trying to bloodhound search out the source of the weed smell, but we ran into six other people doing the same thing, and they all said they assumed it was us.
I just got free tacos, you would be so proud of me.
Clarification, I got free tacos without performing any sexual favors.
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