so i had a choice between studying for my physics test on fluid dynamics or spend the night with my girlfriend. hello doubletasking.
My own mom unfriended me on Facebook.
The vomit I understand but how is there seaweed in my bed?
we should look into getting a golf cart for the weekend. i have a feeling legs wont be a sufficient source of transportation.
We're stoned and watching little Einstein videos. Come. Over. Now.
It's all coming back to me. I drank moonshine from a milk carton from a guy named tomohawk last night.
How am I feeling this morning? Well, besides the fact that my vagina looks like a pair of giraffe's lips and I'm walking like an over-confident cowgirl, I'm fantastic. Thanks for your concern.
After hearing her fall down in the shower for the third time, I decided to go check on her.
These kids are nice. Shrooms make everything so nice.
Happiness is having a 12 hour day thinking that there are only 2 beers in the fridge when you get home, but then finding 8. Fuck you Monday, this week I won.
not sure when or how we ended up at this wedding party but you need to be here they are handing out screwdrivers and Yamakas to everyone and it's a got damn open bar you need to be here now
I need vodka mixed w a bit of holy water right now
Not sure but if it exists I will find it and I will fill my face with it
My cat is watching me play with my new vibrator
Sitting in my junior high parking lot high on ambien talking to a stranger I met on tinder. What is life?
Randomize
