try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
dude i'm inner monologue high
you were convinced campus grass and foliage would give you your daily serving of vegetables to balance out the amount of alcohol you drank.
I have big tits. Rules don't apply to me.
Just had a girl agree to give me a blowjob in exchange for wearing my jacket during class. Talk about successful negotiations. Best day of my life
I think I'm finally maturing. I'm happy he found someone. Good for him. I sincerely hope she doesn't choke on his tiny penis.
Honestly, it's not that easy picking a Saturday night outfit that can translate to Palm Sunday mass. Priorities.
Kurt said to text you and encourage you to come out tonight. Encourage you with my rack.
So, I'm playing the Doctor Who drinking game with my dogs, but they don't understand quite when to drink. Still counts as successful, though, right?
Jesus christ it's been two texts and we are already talking about dildos
And you are going to be so turned on by my batman skills later
Is it rude to send him a, "happy birthday, I hope you finally get an STD" text?
You owe me a one night stand and a line. Possible an inflatable flamingo as well. And a caesar salad.
As in, legitimately worried. You just sent me a 6 message long text that did not contain any complete words.
I'm sorry I missed your birthday brunch. If it makes you feel any better I woke up wearing someone else's toga and a sombrero
Randomize
