I have way too many pictures of poop on my phone
I've officially put my junk in foods from 5 of the 6 layers of the nutrition pyramid
im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
So she just apologized to the fire extinguisher.
She somehow inhaled a tack last night, she's having surgery today.
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
By the way, i got bored and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
there's a picture of you and pauly shore at a starbucks on my phone
I sold weed for gas money to get home. I thought that's what college was for.
That place is a DUI and an STD waiting to happen. I think I'll pass.
I told him if he wanted to lose weight he had to learn self control. Less than ten minutes after that I ate a cookie off the floor...
Did you have ill-advised lesbian sex on the deathbed of their relationship?
Of course. Go big or go home.
You're my fucking queen.
He had a clap on lamp. So every time he was ramming into me, the lights kept turning on and off
got laid for being an eagle scout again. 4 more and ill have all my merit badges.
Found someone cuddling with my Uggs this morning. Guess the hundred pillows laying next to him weren't good enough.
Randomize
