My grandpa is talking about laundry and he asked if i could run a "small hot load." Wow. I had to leave the room.
yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
then she made me sanitize my hands before fingering her...i may have found my soulmate
just smash crush and snort whatever we can get our paws on
I knew I fell for you for a reason
you dont seem to understand my overwhelming need to watch space jam right now
you know you were way too high when you wake up next to a handwritten list of all the things you'd do for a Klondike bar
You know I'm really starting to enjoy being everyones first gay experience
What makeup look will say to the therapist 'I am a smart, well-adjusted young woman'?
ambylanc
what?
there was an amgbulance. iw ish i was in it.
Looking for the remote in the couch. Finding Adderall beads. Considering utilizing.
I don't know what to be prouder of: the fact that last night i was able to successfully find my way home from evanston with 3-d glasses on, or that i was able to make my way around my house in the dark with my pants around my ankles
I'm in the fetal position watching the little mermaid and trying not to die. When do you come home?
i can't even hate his new girlfriend cuz she survived a fucking brain tumor. like that's just not fair.
Word to the wise, never look up your hot young doctors on Facebook before you're discharged. You will find things and no longer be able to take them seriously.
Pooled our money and rented a bouncy castle for the day. Get over here now. Bring vodka.
Randomize
