i literally laid in bad for an hour last night thinking of what i'm going to name my cats when i become a cat lady.
That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
Do I buy ice cream sandwiches or a 40? these are the difficult life decisions I am faced with.
Admit it. It's a brilliant plan with hundreds of possible repercutions.
Understatement of the year.
I'm sorry I did drugs then got really loud and bitchy at your party and judged your choice in one night stands.
took some adderal to make my alochol withdrawl less shitty. now im just concentrating on how badly i need a drink
I rocked my own world, he was just a prop.
I'm 50% sure my cousin put weed in these deviled eggs.
Her one night stand followed us to mass. This is too funny for real life.
If you can't seal the deal with her, I will. And you know I'll be successful. So there's your incentive
I tried to order champagne at IHOP last night
I think I need to see a chiropractor after giving that blow job
I woke up on some strangers couch covered in salad mix and oatmeal cream pies. The struggle is absolutely real.
I just want this to serve as a reminder in the morning that the topic of conversation at last call was the penis size of jesus.
He may not be good for my soul but he’s great for my vagina!
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