Omfg I am plowed. Had drinks with 3 milfs. Going out on their boat tomorrow. They want to show me how buoyant they are.
Don't fret. That vag would have consumed a lesser man.
So did the night end well for you?
I stole a traffic cone and drunk texted my sister because i couldn't think of any other girl to text
my fart just smelled so bad i acutally gagged
just because you are now my girlfriend does not mean you can text me nasty shit
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
Nyquil jello-shots aiding in health and happiness
There is a newly found video on my phone of me following you to the bathroom to watch you throw up. sorry I didn't hold your hair
We looked at pictures of a Texas banjo contest from 2006 for a half hour and then were surprised by who won. That stoned.
seriously. next time...underwear. I'm not spending any other holiday season wondering if it'll be my last babyless one.
And on the seventh day, God carefully sculpted your cock to fit perfectly into my masterpiece of a vagina. Then he rested. Look it up.
I wanted sex but got Ace Ventura: Pet Detective, instead. Then I had to drive 30 minutes home wet. Worst booty call, ever.
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
Swimming turned traumatic when grampas shorts slipped off..
i just woke up, first off why is there pineapple everywhere and who's underwear is on my ceiling fan ?
Randomize
