Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
I was so hungover I threw up on her when she answered the door. i don't think it was a good first impression
The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
Dude I was fucking my girl on the couch and her dog came up and licked my balls. Does that mean we just had a threesome?
The police scanner is talking about you again....
The cardboard box in my backseat wasn't strong enough to keep your pee contained. Come clean my car.
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
I'll just dance on top of the ping pong table, and if it's stable enough for that, then it's stable enough for sex
When we found you, you were using the bottle of Captain as a pillow...with a note on your forehead that said don't wake up the champion.
If you ever bitch out on 72oz margarita night again, this friendship is over
he was extremely fucked up- he thought my sports bra was his boxers. even when his leg wouldnt fit. at least whiskey dick wasnt a problem
Give me a minute. I'm trying to buy moonshine from a railroad worker named "Cowboy."
Come over. Bring cocaine. And my t shirt with the dolphin on it.
I threw your vagina at him like a grenade. And sweet Jesus he caught it like a champ
She's gonna be mad if she finds out you put weed in her house warming cookies
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