At a place where you lie naked on a big pile of pillows and they feed you lobster. You eat it with your bare hands.
Come to wood. Julia is putting pants on. We must stop her.
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
We're pretty much just dating until one of our ex's wants us back
If I have to go to the hospital, at least put my pants back on. It's been a fantastic night.
Let me tell you the story of bicurious george
I think the universe has a conglomeration of sentences reserved only for me.
No seriously you guys are gonna get arrested
Do me a favor I want you to reach down the front of your pants and underwear and just feel around for a while... if you happen to find your balls then join us
Why do I have a wristband from the birthing center at the University of Maryland hospital....
I yelled out "blow jobs!" in my macroeconomics class. Ask me more about how my life is spiraling out of control.
Did he hurt you? I have a crowbar I can beat his sorry ass with
He just jumped up off the couch, screamed "ITS OVER NINE THOUSAND!" And then attempted to fly out the window like a bird. I don't know nor do I care to know what just happened
It's really hard to tweet with a pussy in your face demanding attention.
Sex in the backyard? Check.
I woke up on the damn lawn again...it's not even summer yet
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