Come to the Burger King. We're waiting for you.
At least a dozen asian tourists will be showing their friends pictures of me peeing off of Hoover Dam with a cop pointing his gun at me when they get home. I worry about the impact on their children.
idk if its the weather or the "im still drunk" or the morning sex i just had with my roommates gf but that was def the most enjoyable walk in the rain ever
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
Every time I there's a break up, I'm left with an animal. That's it. No more mutual pets.
Maybe he'll be famous someday and I can forget that anything embarrassing may have happened and just say that I fucked that famous guy.
Put it this way, at one point I was getting stoned on the roof of the strip club with one of the strippers while another one gave me a free lap dance. That wasn't even the best part of the night.
There is a chick at the bar in a bumble bee onesie, complete with wings. Yeah, I must be back in Seattle.
Six words: 3rd Degree Burn On My Dick
You know you're a heffer when you discover chocolate frosting on your smoking apparatus
She had an asthma attack and had to stop but insisted on getting me off. It's official she's the one
I actually haven't slept with anyone in a while. I think my whore phase is just seasonal.
I'm fine w planning around your penis prospecting. Saturday it is.
I never want to even look at fireball again because it reminds me of the night I died and then lived to tell the tale of how I died.
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
Randomize
