I hate your face
Maybe i should go to church more so i can meet girls like in that song, you know, the ones that act slutty on every day but sunday...
ah, so the catholic church. i gotcha
it's a girl!!
That's great, I look forward to meeting her in 18 years
after the cops left he pulled the weed out of his ass and we smoked it
Just watched porn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV... So that's where the clitoris is
We walked in and found his glass coffee table broken and you in the bathroom throwing up saying "What a bad first impression."
Dude, he sent me a pic of his dick. I thought dating a married man wouldn't remind me so much of high school. Seriously.
just had to sit in the middle of an aisle in stop and shop because we're too hungover and needed to take a break.
Our sex bag has now been upgraded to sex luggage, with wheels, and now features a first aid kit. Game. On.
It wasn't until I took a shit, that I remembered that you assholes started spiking my shots with tobasco when I wasn't looking last night. Dicks.
NO I FORBID YOU. THERE ARE BETTER VIRGINITIES OUT THERE WORTH KIDNAPPING.
So I bring Danny back to the apartment for the first time and my roommate is curled up in the beanbag in the middle of the floor, wearing nothing but her uggs, high out of her mind and watching Harry potter... She offered us kettle corn.
He asked if he could come over tomorrow....
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
I know you won't see this for awhile, but I had to tell somebody, and you're like the only person who won't judge me for having an accidental erotic encounter with General Tso's chicken.
Well the cops were called after the kid fell, but we saw 4 cute guys from our window while it was going down, so it wasn't all that bad.
Randomize
