You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
Fun fact: tonight on intervention was the guy who did my tattoo
Threesome last night. Not that cool, you tend to pick a favorite.
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
Apparently my type is "guy whose parents had unprotected sex on Halloween". Last week was my ex's, my FWB's, and the guy I'm seeing's birthdays.
He woke me up at 3 am kneeling on the floor pissing and yelling, then he passed out and stole my comforter. I want a new roommate...
He always tells me he misses my clit. I feel like I should make a drinking game out of it
When everyone ask you tomorrow go ahead and tell them I'm the girl that fell of safe ride and was all bloody.
All I vaguely remember from last night is getting up on that nice mahogany table and debating about squirrel's rights
Is it inappropriate to send a happy 3-year anniversary of having a threesome with you and your ex girlfriend on easter text?
My dad just told me I can't passout in the driveway after the 4th of July parade this year, again
My doctor actually said I was suffering from an "acute hangover" in doctor's note I asked him for....what a douche
Your life has no conflict it's just a blur of sex and Netflix
Why are there four guys spooning on the living room floor?
They're still there? Shit. They were supposed to leave after they hugged it out.
I just wanna be naked and go frolic in the snow
Randomize
