She made a guy cry in the bar. I will have her, oh yes, I will have her..
She threw up everywhere and is crying about a fictional character who died on Grey's Anatomy
a fat lady just tried to bring a cooler stuffed full with burger kid through airport security. christ I'm going to miss the midwest.
the liquor store lady asked about three times if I was sure about buying two fifths of everclear. i told her I wanted to be on cops
Oh my god, I hid a wine bottle in my boot.
Look dude I'm sorry I used your bong to snorkel in my bathtub last night
just tried googling 24 hr taco bell and when i typed "24 hour" it autocompleted with fitness. buzzzz killllll
so he woke up after being passed out and yelled that he had brought back moon rocks for everybody...
The fact that I pulled something plastic out of my mouth after taking that shot is starting to concern me.
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
That is true. Vodka is like a dog. Always loyal, warm, and there for you when you need it
usual friday morning routine. the pants i wore last night are in my passenger seat and im rooting through the pockets trying to make exact change at the dunkin donuts drive thru
Due to last night I think a roommate constitution should be made. The first law will be designed to prevent any chicks below a 4 to enter the house.
It was a fight. Me vs nature and drunkenness. And nature won. Big time.
he's the only real guy friend I've had who I've never made out with
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