guess who just trotted in eating her oats and wagging her penis
ugh. my friday night is playin' Farmville on my face. time to harvest the blackheads...
Too bad my thesis topic isn't "defining a hot mess: a study in drinking, smoking and other bad life decisions."
He's very warm and cuddly, that's my favorite thing about him. Besides his Porche. And his hot brother.
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
I have some memory of taking a dump in a guitar case.
I AM TEN TEQUIA SHOOTS ON AND I JUST SAW SOMEONE DO A BODY SHOT OFFF OF JESUS
THIS FEELS SO WROG AND OH SO RIGHT
I have just gotten home. I saw a lot of penis tonight. On a trampoline. Shit got weird.
When they send me to rehab, I'm screaming your name down the halls.
Well it's official, last night I hooked up with the third girl from the apartment downstairs.
Dude that's a hat trick!
I know, I tossed my hat on the floor as I was walking out.
DISHONOR ON YOU. DISHONOR ON YO FAMILY. DISHONOR ON YO COW
Almost stopped showering halfway through to go get food
How likely is it that we can see each other tomorrow night? I want to shave my legs in good faith but it's cold outside and my bathroom is drafty.
whenever i get involved w someone i'm gonna give you their number to testify to the fact that they should not fall in love with me
i got woken up by a cockroach crawling onto my hand and now i'm pretty sure i'll never be clean again
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