just won the tropical speedo for $11. i didn't know they sold pussy magnets that cheap
Her vagina smelled like hockey gear.
oh btw spread eagle is not an appropriate phrase to use in a scientific presentation. learned that the hard way
How do you get mayonnaise out of... well jesus it's everywhere, let's start with carpets
Dude, she puked up her Plan B, then reached in the toilet and re-swallowed it. That chick does NOT want a baby
Please tell me why 'cock-a-thon' was auto saved in my phone.
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
He broke into my apartment to check his Facebook again, the beer is all gone, and there's a new high score on pac man.
Actually, what with the curvature of the Earth, it's faster to leave from Washington. And Google maps recommends kayaking instead of swimming.
I mean i can't really be mad...either way i was gonna fuck him or hate fuck him, so it's basically a win/win situation.
I just want my birth control to stop making me feel like I'm watching baby seals get clubbed to death any time anything even remotely unpleasant happens lol
YOURE ABOUT TO SEE SO MUCH UNCIRCUMCISED DICK
EX BOYFRIEND'S TWINS WERE BORN TODAY. THIS CALLS FOR A MARG.
There is a video of you making out with him, flipping off the camera, and holding the plastic flamigo that you had just stolen out of a yard
Randomize
