my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
Dude, 1 prime defect in the snuggie- you can't fuck someone discreetly under a snuggie. No way no how
part of me always dies a little when i go to the "2 women seeking 1 man" section in craigslist's casual encounters to find nothing there. it's tragic
dude i woke up in a pile of chocolate chips. this has to stop happening
you were so drunk when the pizza guy got there you told him that you didn't have any money and would trade him the pizza for 3 Porno movies and he totally did it. I may never have to pay for pizza again
You were sitting at the bus stop holding hands with some Polish girl you just met, who was just as drunk as you were, and you kept trying to light your Kit Kat and smoke it.
its likemy ribs anf my hesrt aew cuddlingn
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
I wanna throw up and cum in that order
We ended up debating which Food Network host would do best in porn.
I just contemplated drinking cheese dip. And by "contemplated," I mean "attempted and was forcibly stopped from."
I've never had sex with me but I assume there are worse ways to be woken up.
My sex life is driven by spite and alcohol
Instead of going to my moms birthday party I went over and gave him head. I should win non girlfriend of the year award
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
Randomize
