just won the tropical speedo for $11. i didn't know they sold pussy magnets that cheap
reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
it is 7:54 and i am surrounded by drunk old people. drunk enough that my grandmother and her friend just compared boobs. as in, shirts off, bras coming down. save me.
Youre at medical school. Im eating raw cookie dough, pickles, and orange juice. Naked. On a monday afternoon. I clearly make better life choices than you.
Hello you've reached the get a clue corp. Our business hours are from take a hint to figure it out, eastern standard time. If you prefer to leave a message, don't, call back when you're not crazy, fat, and annoying.
There is a slip-n-slide in the hallway and a girl just did it topless cuz I told her it was my birthday. Where are you?
I have so much shit FLYING through my head. They're all in magic carpets and everything
I hope I bought a crossbow. Also I need to not drink that much
It was like I was playing the clarinet on his penis. And I just kept saying I'm sorry.
How do I say "I still wanna hook up w you but I don't wanna see your penis via text ever again" through a snapchat
Do you think the police would frown on me opening a psych drug pharmacy on the side? Just to dispose of my drugs without polluting the water supply! It is for the animals!
She did what?
Who. The correct term is she did who.
Did you see him? The correct term is definitely what.
My boss's toddler just went through my bag and found your vibrator...you owe me a drink.
I used to shoot steroids in my ass but for a totally different reason
Randomize
