If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
I hate it when she philosophizes drunkenly on my kitchen counter. not even sober do i understand latin.
Its midnight, he's burning water on the stove and keeps yelling at me and telling me not to burn myself.
You told me when we were leaving the club if I could pin point your nipple through your padded bra you would show me if I was right.
An attempt at squeezing a tomato to make a bloody mary just says desperation all over it....
all i care about is the story behind my toaster ending up in the microwave
Please make the clown in the corner stop judging me. I mean he's the one with paint on his face. I don't need him judge judying me.
I know. My only sports are biking to buy drugs and running from the police.
All three of them were helicoptering their dicks to persuade me to take my thong off
Ok how about tonight me and you get laid together. Same girl. Then she signs our dicks.
As weird as it sounds I would totally be down
I vaguely remember us chasing shots by licking each other's faces last night. Our friendship has reached another level completely.
Drinking from the bottle. In bed. Making dinosaur noises. Oh man.
just said thank you to the lady who gave me a body search at the airport
Randomize
