Was it a mistake telling him I couldn't get the abortion until I was 2 months along on the first date?
Dude you can sell sperm for 100 to 250 bucks a time. And the best part is there will be kids all over the world that will have me as a daddy. It's like I'm jerking off my way into ruling the world
All he did was lie there and used his hands to keep pace. He was like the metronome of sex.
you literally pushed me forward in the seat so you could puke behind my back without the cabbie noticing..
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
could you please tell me why you thought vodka soaked band aids were a good idea?
I just looked at a girl and was like what disease does she have? And then my mind caught up ohhh shes pregnant.
To be clear, the next time I wake up with your dick inside me, I will reach down and grab one and squeeze until it pops like a grape. You've been warned.
Props to the guy blatantly doing coke in the bathroom at the bar. Walked out of the stall with a credit card in hand, sniffing loudly and shouting "choo choo"
Fuck it, if you can't drink cheep beer and whiskey with me, I don't want you.
I've come to the conclusion that my issue is I'm not fucking a guy with a headboard
Hooked up with another cop last night. Think I am renaming my vagina "dispatch"
I just woke up on the floor with an empty handle in one hand and a piece of my ceiling in the other. #classy
My ovaries melted while we were talking. I almost told him I would suck his soul out through his dick
That would be a memorable parent teacher conference for sure
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