i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
He keeps asking me for girl advice, i told him im an expert at getting drunk, not girls
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawnmower thinking of you
And by go well you mean everyone's hammered right?
Yupp. And someone's bleeding
So how exactly do I backtrack from motorboating and ass grabbing?
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
My tongue is raw from licking all that salt with my tequila shots...happy cinco de mayo
I don't work there anymore. If they had Prince themed dildo parties i never would have quit
just woke up on the floor with a bottle in my hand. and by bottle, i mean a baby bottle. half filled with tequila.
At one point she put on my dads pants and yelled after him EMILIOOOO! Dude, my dads name is Mark.
We really gotta wear capes to the bar more often...
well I ran around the park drunk with a plastic baby and fell, all while screaming "I WILL PROTECT YOU CARLOS", yeah there's video
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
I need my comforter. Pls bring it to me and drape me in it like an animal pelt. Ps I'm naked.
she referred to her cum as “pussy butter” so needless to say we had a good night
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