This hotel is not contributing to my sobriety, they have 4 kinds of free wine and beer.
Pretty sure God shed a tear when I put 15 singles in the collection plate.
Alright. I will breast feed the first person to get here.
He blew a .19 and then slurred "well I did have some rum cake earlier today officer".
At second job interview this week. Wearing pants to hide pole dancing bruises. This my life.
Who takes their shirt off at the bar?! Classy broad
I do. In all fairness there was someone else's blood on it.
Question. Was fucking Laura an entirely regrettable decision?
like...quickly.
you were telling us about the time you had sex in an alley and he stopped, looked up and said 'it was a cul-de-sac' and went right back to what he was doing.
Whenever I think to myself, "I don't work for a bunch of hours"... It's shot time?
Meet at Walmart straight from work to buy items for hurricane fun. Then blast some wine, make some sex, blast a bowl and cuddle each other till the sun comes up?
That's the most romantic New Orleans hurrication I've ever heard of. Can I have your babies?
he keeps various drugs in his kitchen cupboard like groceries. that is my new life goal as an adult.
the moment when you open a dick pic with your mom in the car... On your moms phone... Of your dad... Scarred for life
The highlight of my night will be digging in other people's garbage
Nah, i wasn't offended. Having a bridesmaid who you had had multiple threesomes with your future husband would be weird.
i realized my signature handshake has now become a hookup. i love what college has done to me.
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