Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
you thought that fire hydrant was a midget...you gave it a hug and asked for a lollipop.
Idk how she did it. Either she watches freakier porn than I do, or I really need to go get tested.
I feel like none of my dresses scream slut the way I'd like them to
I just had to download an app to edit pictures on my new phone. The things I do for sexting...
She asked if you knew her boyfriend, and you responded that you "think you gave him head once" and then hiccupped.
Its like every time I go out with you, it always involves Serbian chicks and taco bell and you always manage to get both all over my bed.
I'm also glad were at the point in our friendship where my vagina talking to you isn't weird
He titled his birthday party on facebook, "BJ's in PJ's- an adult slumber party." I'm the only one invited.
U have to come, I miss the sound of you throwing up.
I tell myself every day I shouldn't be friends with you
Yes, yes I will fake crap in his house for you.
We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly
I've Ubered to the bar three times this weekend to get my car but every time I get there I end up drinking. Still no car.
I almost suffocated in that mask but she kept calling me Jeremy so I kept it on.
Randomize