It was kinda weird being the boss
Did you feel like Tony Danza?
South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
I play with my boobs when I'm bored. I playwith my nipples whe I'm drunk
Why do I feel like I used to feel when I almost got caught looking at porn when I get caught looking at facebook at work
Sorry for talking about super scientific shit so much last night, I know it bugs you sometimes when I don't shut up.
What? You sat on the couch for a solid 2 hours staring at your fingerprints and the only word that came out of your mouth was "how"
Did your dad mention the fact that you asked him for viagra at 2 in the morning?
I've gotta stop getting kicked out of bars for fighting with people over the accuracy of the Harry Potter movie.
I mean it was like cry my eyes out or masturbate in my moms bathroom.
These days, you and me are swimming in dicks.
Marco
Polo
My dad is so drunk he attempted to ride my two year old cousin's tricycle. For a solid five minutes.
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
So she just had an emotional breakdown over a birthday card with a peacock on it. Yeah. She's pretty drunk, but we made it home safely.
He's on the floor in just a Burberry tie. All my girl parts just tapped out.
Btw...refried beans is a terrible thing to throw up.
its like probably shouldnt be sending pics of your asshole to strangers who work in the same building as you
Randomize
