so I ended up banging her last night
dude I remember her. You sure it was a her?
i don't even remember
yeah. pants. i need to put pants on. i didn't do that last night. big mistake
I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.
You're just horny.
Yea, and? I appreciate you as a person too if that helps.
When I don't want to forget things I put them on my cigs.
C smoking isn't all bad
I passed out drunk and Jane had created a picnic on my chest. I had chips and a hamburger laid out on my boobs. The only reason I woke up is she was trying to feed me too.
I'm convinced that college is the only place where one can have an existential crisis over what sweatpants to wear
I got really upset at the McDonald's worker. They should serve nuggets 24/7. Apparently 5am is breakfast for some people.
If I win the contest of drinking the most water I get a chicken nugget.
my mom called me mid shot and i accidentally answered and kept calling her my own name. somehow i thought that would help the situation.
I no longer exist. I have transformed into a puddle of sex.
Really, who hasn't had sex on your bed?
ME.
Speaking of dignity, who all saw me....
If you wanna fuck the pudding, fuck the pudding. Just not the chocolate, Im gonna eat that.
Thanks for making me a drunk burrito last night and cutting it into bite size pieces, I always knew you were a keeper.
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