ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
dude...i just woke up in ****'s bed!
doesn't he have a girlfriend???
yeah...who do you think woke us up...
Im in the beachers at wrigley listening to four lesbians debate the pros and cons of 2girls1cup. Success.
the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
I hope the prosecutor is a dude cause my lawyer is hot.
She looked at my cock with a kind of resigned disappointment.
How many vodka infused gummi bears count as 1 drink?
Considering adding a large amount of vodka to my tomato cup-a-soup at work. Save me.
We lost a condom inside me, I had to fish it out. The next day he gave me a Gone Fishin' bumper sticker. True love at its finest.
Just saw Santa sitting on a restaurant patio drinking beer and using his free hand to gesture to cars that he's watching them
I shouldn't have to tell you to stop throwing knives at me.
He drives a PT Cruiser.... that should have been my first clue.
This chick just walked out of the men's room with molly all over her nose and her shirt half unbuttoned. She nodded to all of us and said "gentlemen" as she exited
it’s about to be september and all i keep thinking is what if i go (another) full calendar year without having sex?
will you help me invent vagina-safe pop rocks?
Randomize
