Either these are mashed potatoes in my pants, or I was drunker than I thought.
this is not the time for floating mt dew and shots of tequila.
I couldn't help thinking that my sock monkey was judging me
The realization of how permanent those tattoos really were set in this morning... I am SO sorry.
More importantly this is sex weather and i am striking out
yeah...well...life isn't all puppies & lap dances
We got high and watched Winnie the Pooh. Isn't that what every normal person does on their break?
He started a convo with me by saying that we went to high school together and then recommended I try meth.
Eating chips and sending nudes. This is my life.
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
I swear to god if I have to repeat this to you one more mother fucking time I will flip fucking shit and acidic rain will pour down upon your mother fucking soul
Our relationship revolved around Taylor Swift albums. It's no wonder it ended so fast
... and this time i WILL NOT make out with anyone dressed as batman.
You know those times when you're sitting down for a while and r like damn I'm sober but then stand up and r like WOAH HOLD UP.
Oh please. Preoccupy yourself with my penis.
Randomize
