you know you are hungover when... you set your alarm for the next time you think you are going to throw up
Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
Just met a girl...She is complaining why on facebook you can't have more then one "open relationship"
I dont know how i feel about her from a moral standpoint...
There's a hand-carved wooden bong in my backpack, and i really wish i could remember last night now.
Yeah he doesn't get it. We had to change the subject to Keanu reeves before someone got hurt.
EVERYONE CAN HEAR YOU FUCKING YOU ARE IN A TENT
was it me or did you scream 'champagne motherfucker' when you punched him in the face ??
We designated a driver... But it was me..... So we designated another driver
The drag queen we did coke with is going to be on Ru Paul's drag race. I feel so proud.
He always finds the good stuff. He's like a truffle pig for bud.
I understand that just don't try to seduce me while making frozen pizza again.
Remember when I made fun of you when you ran out of toilet paper on your brother's birthday and had to use coffee filters? Guess what happened today
CRAIGSLIST IS NOT THE ANSWER
IM LONELY AND HORNY
Do you wanna do something, or just stare at each other and fantasize about death like we usually do
We couldn't find her anywhere. Finally, I saw her sitting in my bathroom floor spraying hair mouse into her mouth and whispering "I fucking love whipped cream." WHAT DID YOU GIVE HER AND CAN I HAVE SOME?
Randomize