Nicole vs. Life
I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
mom took my condoms, found one in the trash the next day
I know she was great
My BOSS just pulled out a box of Christmas stuff labeled reefs.
She just used a chaser for red wine.
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
At one point I went looking for you and found you handcuffed to a chair. I'm pretty sure you handcuffed yourself. I don't know how you got there.
I'm stoned entirely off resin. Licking my blankets. Merry Christmas. Jesus died for our sins. Yay Jesus. I love you.
A "Tom-vomit" is when you puke but cough as it comes up, so you close you mouth as a natural reaction and the vomit is jet-propelled out your noise.
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
You have ruined sex with him for me. Now all I think is "boy scout" and I want to go home
Just got high and apologized to my vagina for getting chlamydia
I'm ordering sushi and crying over finals. Come over and bring wine.
The single life is the freaking dream dude. I'm sitting here naked, eating chocolate mousse, and watching Gilmore girls. It's wonderful
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
Randomize
