Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
Googled "can you put dry ice in your drink?" I'm safee
how does Santa get into Hogwarts?
still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
The world would have a new energy source if someone would just take a blacklight to the backseat of that slut's car
Just took my birth control pill next to the cubicle where we had sex last semester.
The first aid guy just told us to go get hammered...I'm taking his advice
I've decided to dedicate my life to finding out which flavor of Gatorade tastes best after you brush your teeth
Dude. All those hangovers I never had came back with a vengeance. I just opened the door of this car to barf. The car was not motionless. We are on the autobahn.
So what's the moral standing on reading gay porn on your phone whilst sitting next to your 87 year old Grandma?
Can you think of a sexual word rhyming with snorkel?
No Bryan wants to get drunk, rub inappropriate dudes legs, talk about my vagina and send me pics of his boomerang dick. That's not how you watch basketball.
That's how he does EVERYTHING!
Costco (TM). Making alcoholism affordable!
I offer naked tickle fights and orgasms and you call it trouble. I call that Christmas.
Don't know where this pizza came from but i got breakfast in bed
Randomize
