out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
...that's why he's not doing anything with his life except breeding geckos
I couldn't function. I was to the point where I was using a bottle cap as a monocle.
For the record, chili cheese fritos are not a chaser.
He chucked my pickle at the bouncer. Fucker, I wanted that.
Remember when we pinky swore we'd never feel hungover alone...
Our house almost burnt down last night. I woke up at 4:10am to the smoke alarm going off bc the bean bag chair was on fire so i extinguished it and smoked a bowl at 4:20 to celebrate my fire extinguishing abilities
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
I don't know what to say to that. All I know is my vagina is trying to jump through the phone.
I got the job! The hiring manager is the sister of a guy I slept with so its like I'm a real adult now
Is it too soon for me to wonder what sex with him would be like?
I JUST REALIZED THAT SINCE LEIA IS TECHNICALLY A PRINCESS AND KYLO REN IS HER SON AND STAR WARS IS OWNED BY DISNEY...KYLO REN IS LITERALLY A DISNEY PRINCE.
Oh my Gods. Why. Why did you have to tell me that. D:
SO YOU CAN SUFFER HAVING THAT KNOWLEDGE TOO.
Dipping my sugar cookies in a glass of fireball and creme soda. This is holiday spirit
I made her pull the car over 5 times to puke because she was going to fast, apparently she was only going 30mph...
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