We can make salsa ya know, maybe even some hot sauce. That doesn't mean we're married.
he convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. he slurred every word. i think i found my prince charming.
He tied my whole arm, in its cast, to the headboard first. He mumbled something about safe, sane, and consensual?
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
Itd be like fucking a waterbed thats been locked in a barn for two years.
Where in the FUCK do you get your analogies
I will fuck him senseless, no need for a priest.
I only have one eye to read your texts because I just stabbed one out after reading that last text.
I'm having flashbacks from last night. Did I admit to pausing Whitney's funeral because I was watching porn? I believe I did.
I don't know what's more sad. The fact that I'm genuinely impressed about being sober for a whole 3 days or the fact that I want to get wasted in celebration.
But mostly fuck him senseless. Render him speechless. Have him look at my vagina and wonder, "WHAT SORCERY IS THIS?!"
Yeahhh, apparently my brothers think its ok not to check on me if a creeper is talking to me bc i "like those weirdo types"
Do you remember doing synchronized hip thrusts to Michael Jackson? Probably one of my favorite parts of the night
You kept yelling "NO CAPES" at me for no apparent reason
I found where he bartends and I guarantee you that in approximately nine months from this Friday, you will have a niece
If she didn't block me, she would have known that I sneezed on her toothbrush.
Thank god you don't know my other address I'm safe for now
Awww you know you would like it if I found u
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