OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
I miss Bob Barker.
Yeah, more like Douche Carey...
Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
I never thought I would get head to the lion king soundtrack
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
I just need to go to a bar tonight wrapped in an American flag singing the national anthem
You fell out of your barstool, I tried to help you but you said if I got any closer I'd be drinking my meals through a straw, So there you sat.
He knew exactly who I'd slept with after just one look at my crotch. He's like the Sherlock Holmes of cocks.
accidentally stumbled into a construction site at 3am on the way home. The bulldozer was locked so we had to settle for rerouting traffic with all the orange cones...
Bruce the cab driver wants to take me on a date to see Taken 2
Dude, it's not gay. It's winter.
the woman that waxes my lady parts just hugged me...
were you wearing pants?
no.
I find nice boys who are in extremely long term relationships with nice girls, wait for them to break up, and sneak in for the rebound fucking.
You are like a terrifying jaguar of sex. Predatory.
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