i just ate that cheese stick that was in my purse from last night.
so literally, as soon as i tripped and fell and hit the floor the earthquake started. hows THAT for a self esteem boost?
I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
my sombrero is too big for the bathroom
i made potato chips in weed oil. what did you do today?
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
As a jewish boy dating her she thinks everypart of christmas is my first time. Helllllo bj under mistletoe!!
Her facebook status said "just got a sign from god". I texted her and apparently she found a slice of pizza in the shower.
You almost married that.
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
Flaming shots last night. Missing an eye brow. There a connection?
I'm going to be fiscally responsible and buy a handle.
My night started to turn around the time I started calling her a "raggedy cunt".
Somehow she got that I meant it as a term of endearment.
the only reason I'm still sleeping with him is to get the university's secure wifi password
I wrote notes to myself all over my body. "don't yell at cops again" "Cody stole your phone" "you kissed Cody" "vodka shots are bad for your liver" and "cactus pretty" WTF????
I just want to see you and express my feelings in a drunken manner, but in a sweet way like my english accent.
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