ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
he believed the zit on my nose was a piercing...until he tried to bite it. needless to say he didnt ask for my number
I am so fucking pissed, there are no Shamwows in the As Seen on TV Store.
Looks like you'll have to stick to jizzing in socks.
Is she bent over a couch yet or did daylight savings time throw off her usual schedule?
ive been a drunken mess for the last 5 days. i feel like a 19 year old again
It just hurt to pee because he was fingering for fucking gold in there.
she fucked me tho cuz it was her cat's birthday. As soon as we were done she just says "ahhh tequila tuesdays"
You kept saying,"there's a seahorse in my stomach, who's trying escape". This was after the curtains attacked you.
whenever he tweets that he wants to get blackout it's like a neon sign for "i want to bang you tonight"
he threw up in a solo cup, then washed it out and used it to play flip cup. Im not sure if thats resourceful or disgusting.
I'm in the power napping at parties stage of my life
I'm 50% okay with that amount of body contact... plus/minus 7% based on where blood may flow.
See what happens when I don't get laid? I make poor life decisions, like buying baby ducks.
i just hope we're both dead or in prison at the same time
I woke up with what has to be a whole pack of smarties loose in my bra. Was that your fault?
Randomize
