i was blowing him and "what if god was one of us" came on his playlist. I had to leave
I like daylight savings. I don't care if it's 4 oclock it's not daydrinking if it's dark out
seek help.
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
once you have herpes you dont really care what goes in your mouth anymore.
Someone apparently named 'eleaw' just text me asking if I had fun last night.
So a list of things I should stay away from bringing up at dinner with your fiance tonight?
1) you and I went to a strip club 2) i saw you topless at said strip club 3) i cried when we watched the Real World
You're the only person I know who would be upset about making out with a girl you like. You're like a drunken Charlie Brown.
Remember how he wouldn't sleep with me "out of respect"? Well, Mr. Respect just fingered me in a parking garage.
I haven't taken a solid shit in four weeks. Do you know what started four weeks ago? Alcohol and dining hall food. Fucking college.
So, I without a doubt haven't used the bag I'm now carrying since we were dating. Just had to discreetly throw out an unopened magnum in a bus station.
She broke up with me after I spent the whole day speaking in nothing but Marshawn Lynch quotes.
He forehead kissed me AND THEN asked what I was thinking. I'm taking away his man card.
i got my period today. mid walk of shame and im wearing a shirt that says stay classy. my life is a joke.
The guy i took home was a circus freak. He jerked off 3 times in front me after we had sex. And he came every time.
There's something sensual about taking off a pair of socks.
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