i wish my penis had a tongue
If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
There are 9 condoms on my bed either i met the greatest girl ever last night or something horrible has happened.
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
Whatever. It was high school. Back then I'd blow anyone who had enough room between their chest and their steering wheel for my head to fit.
Well... this vagina won't eat itself
I just puked in my non fat yogurt... But it's non fat in hopes that someone wants to eat my vagina
playing nyquil roulette. it entails taking shots of nyquil and hoping it doesnt kick in during sex or in public. game on.
Do you think accidently including this month's Credit Card statement in my application will keep me from getting into grad school?
Depends ... when did you purchase your vibrator?
But really, someone with a penis give me attention before I start posting nudes on Instagram.
are you fucking roseanne barr in there?
We were on the beach when you spilled sand in the bottle and said "relax it's vodka, it'll disinfect itself"
It finally happened my mom knowingly gave me money to buy drugs i knew this day would come\n
you never know when your going to find a surprise from me in your bed...it keeps you on your toes.
I'm a history major and he's the descendant of TWO presidents. Did you really think I wasn't going to sleep with him?
Think he has a gf
Yea that shit doesn’t necessarily stop me
Randomize
